I Am Not Fucking Soft
by Midnight Rose of Sorrow
Summary: A short one-shot of Hidan bonding with Sakura and Deidara's daughter.


"Son of a fucking bitch!"

Hidan had been minding his own business as he walked down the dimly lit corridor towards the private quarters of the base. He was tired after a hard day of sacrificing an Iwagakure elite jounin that had attempted to stupidly attack Hidan as he trained in the forest that surrounded part of Amegakure. All he wanted was to get to his room and lay on his bed to drift into a much needed sleep. But some little shit, he knew exactly who too, had left what looked to be a building block on the maroon carpeted floor. Having thrown his sandals in the laundry since they were cover in blood, he had steeped on the block with his bare foot.

Though he may enjoy pain, this kind of pain he did not. He had sensitive feet. Seriously.

He had then made his way to the Akatsuki common room, where he knew he would find the culprit so he could give them an earful. Upon entering the richly adorned lounge he almost was tempted to walk back out again at what he found. A little girl with long blonde hair tied into pig-tails had her hands over her face as she cried, her sobs filling the quiet room. Sending a silent prayer to Jashin, he inwardly cussed as he approached the crying girl, sitting next to her on the black leather couch.

"Urgh what the fucks wrong with you Tenshi?"

The little girl raised her head to gaze into Hidan's amethyst eyes with her emerald eyes shining with unshed tears. She lowered her hands and held them palm up, to show two open small mouths embedded in the rough flesh of each hand. The mouths then closed, hiding their small teeth and tongues only leaving two slightly raised lines on each palm like a seam.

"They, they said I'm a freak and that I'm ugly." Tenshi cried, fresh tears rolling down her plump cheeks and dripping onto her lap.

Tenshi was the daughter of Deidara and Sakura Haruno, who were out on a brief mission in Wind Country. Tenshi had inherited her father's bloodline trait, the mouths on her hands. It was not a well known bloodline trait so many thought it was disgusting and often voiced their opinions when they meet Deidara, but now little Tenshi was getting them voiced to her too. Deidara was used to it and had a thick skin so it didn't bother him. He could just blow them to smithereens anyway with one of his exploding clay creations to make him feel better if he had too. But Tenshi was a four year old little girl, she was sensitive like her mother and hurtful words from others deeply affected her.

"Who the fuck are they?" sneered Hidan.

Though he may be the cruellest and crudest member of Akatsuki, even he had been charmed by the little girl who had grown up in Akatsuki's main base of operations. Sure a moment ago he wanted to let her have it for leaving her fucking blocks on the floor, again, but seeing her upset he had decided otherwise. He wasn't fucking soft, dam it, but he wasn't a complete utter arsehole either. Really.

"The girls at the academy preschool." The distraught girl sniffled.

"You got any better at making clay moulds?"

"Yes a little Uncle Hidan, why is that?"

"Make one of the girls you hate the fucking most, and I'll show you where to stab her with a kunai to make sure she lives but it fucking hurts her good. Since your mother would have a right fucking bitch if you killed anyone."

Tenshi smiled up him, making him a little uncomfortable because she made him always want to smile back. Not a sadistic I-am-about-to-sacrifice-you-to-my-god kind of smile, but a genuine smile. She pulled some clay out of her little pouch and popped it into one of her hands, she didn't know how to infuse her chakra in with the clay yet to make it explode like her daddy did, but she could still mould things.

Soon enough her hand spat out the ball of clay and she concentrated as she moulded it into the shape of Tifa, the girl who had been the meanest, in her tiny plump hand. She threw the white clod into the air and stuck her two fingers closest to her thumb up on one hand, squeezing her eyes shut as it poofed into a large blob that vaguely resembled a person.

Hidan was gobsmacked that this hunk of white clay was supposed to resemble a little girl it was the same size as Tenshi but the face was distorted and looked scarier than Zetsu or Kisame and they were some freaky looking fuckers. The legs were good, and the arms, but the hands and feet were oddly shaped and mismatched. Hidan then fiddled with it a bit, to help make her mould look a little more human like, cursing under his breath at the fact he was playing with clay with a little girl. He would need to make another sacrifice to Jashin to make up for it and to keep his ruthless reputation.

A little hand touched his large one and he looked down to see Tenshi smiling at him as she rolled up her Akatsuki cloak sleeves. A small answering smile graced his lips before he could register what he was doing. Inwardly he began a cursing rampage reminding himself that he in fact was not fucking soft and smiling at children without malicious intent would come across as soft, an indication he should in fact wipe the dumb smile of his face. Only idiots like Tobi smiled and he was a fucking moron.

"You do it like this Uncle Hidan!" she exclaimed as she showed him with her small chubby hands how to smooth and mould the clay taking care not to get any of the white substance on her treasured cloak.

Her parents didn't want her to have one seeing as she was too young to understand what it stood for and what it meant to wear it. She had cried, wanting to be like her large crazy family who all wore one. So when Sakura and Deidara had left on their mission, Itachi had given her one seeing as she reminded him so much of his idolising younger brother Sasuke was her age.

When they were done moulding Hidan passed her a black sleeveless t-shirt to wipe her hands, knowing it was Kakuzu's but not really giving a fuck. That asshole had it coming, the money hungry heathen that he was. Plus he shouldn't have left it on the couch it was just asking to be messed with. He then drew his cloak aside on one side to grasp a kunai in his weapons holster, in preparation for his lesson.

"Right you stab them here, here and here!" he exclaimed happily as he stabbed into the mould, Tenshi watching with awe.

"Can I try, please Uncle Hidan!" she asked jumping up and down.

He handed her the kunai and watched as she stabbed where he did with amazing accuracy for her age. On impulse Hidan patted her head in approval before going to show her where else she could stab to inflict pain. At the end of the afternoon the wall was covered in splattered clay and kunai with clay blobbed at the ends lay scattered across the carpet and Hidan and Tenshi were sitting on the floor with some soda for her and a straight whiskey for him.

"Do you think I'm ugly Uncle Hidan?"

He nearly choked on his drink. Fuck. Well that wasn't a question he had been expecting.

"Fuck no, you got too much of your mum in you to be bad looking."

"But what about my hands, they don't scare you?"

"No fucking way, you want to see me when I'm doing a ritual, I turn all black and shit with white markings like a fucking reaper. That is some scary shit!"

"Can I see you like that?"

"Sure, just don't tell your mother she has a fucking hard punch her when she is pissed."

"I hope I can punch as well as mummy one day."

"I am sure you will be able to kiddo."

"Thank you for cheering me up Uncle Hidan, you're the best!"

Tenshi leapt forwards and wrapped her arms around his neck giving him a hug. At first the Jashin worshipper didn't know what to do other than freeze completely. But then he wrapped his arms around her small frame, returning her embrace.

"You're not so fucking bad yourself kid."

It was that moment Sakura, followed by Deidara, walked silently into the room hoping to surprise them. The grey painted walls were covered in clay splatter, a giant lump of clay sat on the crimson carpet, in fact clay was everywhere. Then there was little Tenshi and Hidan hugging. Foul mouthed Hidan who got pleasure from brutal rituals was hugging a preschooler. Seeing them hug Deidara's jaw nearly hit the floor in apparent shock and Sakura who had more sense pulled out a camera and took a snap, the flash alerting Hidan to their presence. Having such a photo in her possession would do wonders, as she would image Hidan would do anything to stop anyone else ever seeing it.

"Hey give me that fucking camera, I am not fucking soft! In the name of Jashin give me the camera so I can fucking obliterate it!" he roared releasing a giggling Tenshi as he raced to catch Sakura who wisely had ran out of the room.

Deidara shook his head at their childish antics before kneeling down and opening his arms, to which his daughter came running over to give him a hug.

"I missed you, yeah. Were you good while we were gone? Did you have fun?"

"I sure did daddy! I learnt where to stab people so it really hurts, but isn't bad because it doesn't kill them!"

Deidara gave her a deadpanned look. Hidan would be banned from babysitting duty when Sakura heard about this that was for sure.


End file.
